


Forgotten Roses

by Aurone



Series: Roses [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 18OI AU Week 2019: Day 5, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-03-20 01:37:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18982558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurone/pseuds/Aurone
Summary: Emil is hurt during a skating performance and loses his memory.  What do you do when your soulmate forgets your entire life together?  When they forget that you are soulmates?





	1. The Fall

**Author's Note:**

> This fic follows [Purple Roses](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11527011/chapters/25875339). It takes place a couple years after Purple Roses. You don't have to read Purple Roses to read this one. It can stand alone.
> 
> This is part of the 18OI AU Week 2019 event for the 18OI discord channel. This is for Day 5 whose prompt was Soulmates.

Michele knew as soon as his soulmate lifted off into the jump that something was wrong.  He had seen Emil make this jump hundreds of times, flawlessly. Tonight was not one of those times. He couldn’t get his feet underneath him when he landed and he came crashing to the ice. His head hit the ice with a sickening crack. Michele panicked.

_ Oh my God, he’s not moving. Is he going to be okay? What will I do if. . . Calm down.  I know he’s still alive since I am alive.  _

Michele found himself running towards the ice. The paramedics made it to Emil only moments before Michele. They put a neck brace around Emil’s neck and lifted him onto the board. After strapping him to the board, they lifted the skater and quickly got him off the ice. Michele followed the paramedics outside to the ambulance. 

The paramedic asked, “Who are you?”

Michele replied, “I am his husband and his soulmate.”

The paramedic said, “Then you probably should come with us.”

Michele nodded and climbed into the ambulance. He watched Emil breath in and out.

_ At least he is alive.  Please let him be okay. I don’t know what I’ll do if he. . . _

When they got to the hospital, Michele hopped down out of the ambulance and followed the paramedics inside. A nurse directed him to the emergency room waiting room. 

She said, “We will let you know as soon as we know something.”

Michele nodded numbly.  He walked over to a chair and let gravity throw him into it. He sat there with his head in his hands until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Sara standing beside him.  

She asked, “Have you heard anything yet?”

Michele shook his head.

Sara said, “Emil’s tough.  I mean he does do all those sports.  He’ll be fine.”

Michele said, “I hope so.  I don’t know what. . .”

Sara said, “Now, don’t be like that. Think positively.”

Michele said, “He hit the ice so hard, Sara.  It was awful.”

Sara, rubbing circles on his back, said, “I know.  I saw it too.”

Michele looked up and saw a doctor headed their way.

He looked at Sara and asked, “Are you Mr. Nekola’s soulmate?  It says here that they came in the ambulance with him.”

Sara shook her head and said, “My brother is.”

The doctor said, “Ah, pardon me, Mr. . . .”

Michele said, “Crispino.  How is Emil?”

The doctor said, “Mr. Nekola is stable.  We are going to do a scan to look for damage to the brain, but we really won’t know the extent of the damage until he wakes up.”

Michele asked, “How long will that take?”

The doctor said, “We don’t know.  It could be minutes, but it could be days. You can go sit with him if you like.  We’ve found that having your soulmate close speeds up the healing process.”

Michele said, “Okay.”

The doctor said, “I’ll show you to his room.”

Michele nodded and followed the doctor down a foreboding hallway. He showed Michele to a small room where Emil lay in a bed unconscious.  There were all sorts of machines attached to him. Michele looked at the doctor who nodded. Michele walked into the room and sat down in the only available chair.  Needing the contact, he reached for Emil’s hand and clasped it in his own. He was sitting quietly, watching Emil breathe, when the first nurse came in. 

She said, “You can’t be in here.”

Michele replied, “The doctor said his soulmate could be in here.”

The nurse nodded and said, “Where is she?”

It finally became too much for Michele.  

He started crying as he said, “I am his husband and his soulmate.”

The nurse, not deterred by the tears, simply said, “Prove it.”

Michele held out his arm and pulled back the sleeve so that she could see the purple rose that adorned his wrist. She gently moved Emil’s arm so she could see his tattoo. 

When she saw the matching rose, she apologized, “Lots of people try to sneak in here.  I was just. . .”

Michele said, “I understand, but just don’t assume that every soulmate pairing is heterosexual. There are a lot of same sex soulmates out there.”

She nodded and said, “You are right.  I am sorry. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Michele nodded and turned his attention back to Emil. He clasped his hand again.

Michele said, “Emil, honey.  I need you to wake up. I don’t know how to function without you anymore. I love you.  Please be okay. . .”

Michele sat there watching Emil until the stress of the day caught up with him and he finally passed out in the chair. 

 

A few hours later

 

Michele started awake when he felt a hand squeeze his.  He looked over at Emil in time to see his eyes flutter awake. 

Michele asked, “How do you feel?”

Emil replied, “Michele?  Why are you here? What happened?”

Michele, confused, said, “You fell on the ice during the exhibition skate after the Europeans.  You hit your head pretty hard. And why wouldn’t I be here?”

Emil said, “I barely know you, so I don’t get why. . .”

Michele frowned and said, “Barely know me? Emil, that’s not funny.”

Emil said, “I am not trying to be funny.  I’ve met you a couple times at competitions but I don’t think that warrants you sitting by my bedside.”

Michele’s eyes teared up as he looked down at the ring on his hand. 

He said, “I am going to go get the doctor and tell them you are awake.”

Emil watched as Michele got up out of the chair and left the room.   

_ Why does he seem so sad.  _

Michele found a nurse and said, “Emil is awake, but something is wrong.  He has lost part of his memory.”

The nurse said, “I’ll go get the doctor.”

Michele stood in the hallway.

_ How can I go back in there?  He has forgotten all about us. How can I not? God, I didn’t even consider something like this.   _

The doctor walked by Michele, and, seeing the look on his face, asked, “Are you okay?”

Michele said, “Yes. . . No. . . I think Emil has some kind of amnesia.”

The doctor asked, “What makes you say that?”

Michele replied, “He has forgotten all about us.”

The doctor said, “Well, let me take a look at him and we will see what’s going on.  Why don’t you wait out here until I am finished.”

Michele nodded and went back to the waiting room. Sara was still there.  She woke up when Michele sat down next to her. 

Sara, seeing the look on her brother’s face, said, “What’s wrong.”

Michele said flatly, “He woke up, Sara.”

Sara said, “That’s great, right?”

“He doesn’t remember us.”

“Oh, Mickey.  I am sorry.”

“What am I going to do?  I don’t know how. . .”

“It’s going to be okay, Mickey.  You are soulmates after all. We’ll figure it out, somehow.”

“Thanks, Sara.”

She gave her brother a hug.  She felt the tears on her shoulder. 

_ I don’t think I’ve seen him cry since our parents died.  I don’t know what I would do if something happened and Mila didn’t remember me.  _

A few moments later the doctor came out to the waiting room.

The doctor said, “He seems okay besides the memory loss.  We didn’t see anything too concerning on the scan. He definitely has a concussion and he has a small bleed that should heal itself.  We’d like to keep him a few days longer just to make sure. We are going to move him to a regular room in a bit.”

Michele nodded and said, “Thank you doctor.  Should I tell him? Would it upset him too much do you think?”

The doctor said, “Well, it’s not like he can get too far from you.  You might as well tell him so he can get used to the idea. He seems to be coherent and calm so I don’t see why waiting would make any difference.”

Michele nodded and said, “Thank you, doctor.”

The doctor nodded and then left to check on his other patients. 

Michele looked at Sara and said, “I am going to go back in there and talk to him.”

Sara nodded and said, “Come get me if you need me.”

Michele nodded and headed towards Emil’s room. 

When he entered the room, Emil said, “You’re back.  It’s so cool that you are here, but I can’t figure out why? You don’t really know me.  I mean we’ve skated in a couple of competitions together but I’ve never even talked to you.”

Michele said, “Emil, the fall caused you to have a concussion and some memory loss.”

Emil said, “That’s what the doctor said.  So what am I forgetting that makes you look like that?”

Michele reached over and turned Emil’s hand over so he could see the purple rose. 

Michele said, “I am your soulmate. We’ve actually been together for a few years.  We’re even married.”

Michele held up his hand so that Emil could see the ring on his finger. 

Emil, confused, said, “What!?”

Michele said, “Your ring should be on the table with your personal effects. You wear it even when you perform.”

Emil looked on the bedside table and sure enough there was a gold wedding band sitting there.  Michele took off his ring and put out his hand asking for Emil’s ring. He put the ring in Michele’s hand.  Michele put the rings together to see their rose. He showed it to Emil. 

Emil breathed, “They’re bonding rings?  We had a bonding ceremony and I can’t remember it?!”

Michele nodded as he handed Emil back his ring.  He slipped his back on his finger. He sat down next to the bed. 

Michele said, “From hearing you talk, it sounds like you have forgotten the last 4 years.”

Emil asked, “Four years? I am missing 4 years of my life?”

Michele said sadly, “Seems so.”

“Michele, I am. . . so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Besides it can’t be fun for you either.”

Emil nodded and asked, “Can I see?”

Michele held out his arm to show the matching purple rose on his wrist. 

_ Lucky Sara and Mila’s is a different color. _

Emil said, “We really are. . .  It’s you I feel in the back of my mind.”

“It’s the bond.  Ours is pretty strong.”

“Where do we live? Italy?”

“No, we live in Prague.  I switched to your coach so we could live near your family.”

“You did that for me?” 

“Yes.”

“What about Sara?”

“She is bonded to Mila.”

“The Russian skater?”

“Yes.  They live in Russia together.  We were all here for the Europeans.”

“And I fell?”

“On a jump that I have seen you make a thousand times.”

“The doctor said they are going to keep me here a couple of days.  Will you. . . will you stay with me? I feel like I need you here even though I don’t know why.”

Michele sighed and said, “I can’t really leave.  I mean I could probably go the nearby hotel or something but that’s about it.  We never have stretched the bond that much so we don’t have that much distance.”

Emil asked, “We love each other that much?”

Michele choked, “We were always together.  I’m retired now, and I go to all your practices and competitions.”

Tears started to run down Michele’s face as he began to break. Emil’s blue eyes got wide at Michele’s distress.  

Emil said, “Please. . . please don’t cry.  We’ll figure this out. We are soulmates, after all, and that means something. I always wanted to know my soulmate.”

Michele nodded and said, “I know.”  

Michele closed his eyes for a moment regaining his composure. Emil reached over and put his hand on Michele’s.  Michele relished the contact. 

_ It’s probably the most I am going to get for awhile.  This is going to be so hard. I miss him. I miss my husband.  Please God, let him get his memory back.  _


	2. After the Fall

A few days later. . . 

 

Michele was waiting at the hospital for the doctor to finish the paperwork to release Emil. 

He asked the doctor, “Can he fly?”

The doctor replied, “I wouldn’t right away.  I don’t know what the pressure will do to his brain. Can you take the train?” 

Michele nodded. 

The doctor said, “I would do that, then. Ah, that’s the last of the paperwork.  Good luck. Call me if you need me.”

Michele reached out and shook the doctor’s hand and said, “Thank you, doctor.”

The doctor asked, “Will you let me know if he regains his memory?”

Michele nodded and said, “I will.”

Michele spotted Emil being wheeled out by a nurse.  Michele took over for the nurse and wheeled him out to the loading area where an uber was waiting for them. 

Emil asked, “Where are we going?”

Michele replied, “Back to the hotel we were staying at.  I kept our room.”

Emil nodded and asked, “How long are we staying here?”

Michele replied, “Only long enough for me to arrange for us to get home.  The doctor said we shouldn’t fly, so we are going to have to take the train.  I will see about tickets when we get to the hotel.”

Emil said, “Okay.”

Once they arrived at the hotel, Michele got Emil situated in the room.  

_ Fuck.  I forgot we only had one bed. It never occured to me.  Will he still want to sleep next to me?  _

Michele handed Emil his phone and said, “I had Sara get your stuff from the rink.  She charged your phone for you.”

Emil replied, “Thanks.”

Emil opened up the pictures app on the phone and the first one on there made him gasp. 

Michele, worried, asked, “Are you okay?  Do I need to take you back to the hospital?”

Emil said, “I won gold at the Europeans?”

Michele, relieved, said, “Yes.  You were skating your exhibition skate after the competition when you were injured.”

Emil said, “We both look so. . . happy.”

Michele said, “We were. . . are happy.”

Emil said, “Our relationship is a good one?”

Michele said, “Very much so.  You actually had been pining, I guess, for me for awhile when we bonded.  It took me longer to get with the program, but I did. We were very happy.  Very devoted to one another. It was a good bonding.”

Emil felt tears running down his face.

He said, “I’m. . . sorry. . . I’m hurting you, and I. . . don’t . . . know how to fix it.”

Michele, on the verge of tears himself, said, “It will be okay.  Even if you never get your memories back, we can make new ones. You fell for me once.  I bet I can make you fall for me again.”

Michele started to reach out and tuck a stray hair behind Emil’s ear but stopped in mid-motion.

Michele said, “You will have to point out things that make you feel uncomfortable. I am used to us literally having no boundaries. We are a very affectionate couple.  It’s going to be an adjustment for me.”

Emil nodded. 

Michele said, “I am going to go make arrangements for us to go home.”

Emil sat down on one of the chairs in the room and pulled out his phone. He flipped through the pictures that he found on his phone.  There were a lot of pictures of him and Michele with him hanging all over Michele or kissing him. 

_ No boundaries he said.  It looks like I was the clingy one. But we do look happy. God why can’t I remember. I have a life that I can’t remember and it’s hurting the one who should be the most important person in my life.  _

He flipped to another photo; this one was of him and Michele at Disney.  

_ We went to Disney!? We’ve done all this great stuff that I can’t remember.   _

He flipped to the next photo; this one was of him with another medal.  A silver this time. 

_ Nor can I remember the accomplishments I have had.  This is awful. I have had this excellent life and now it feels like it’s just gone.  _

Emil teared up again for what felt like the hundredth time since he woke up to this nightmare. After he booked the tickets, Michele sat down on the bed, trying to give Emil some space.

Michele thought _ I don’t even know how to act towards him.  We never had that awkward dating phase a lot of couples have since we were friends before we were bonded.  We just kind of jumped into the relationship.  _

Emil wiped the tears from his face. 

Emil said, “So, we are going home tomorrow?”

Michele nodded and said, “Luckily this year the competition was in Ostrava, so Prague is only a short distance away.  It’s a 3 hour train ride. We should be home by early afternoon. We’re lucky it wasn’t in Moscow this year, that would have been a long train ride, over a day if I remember correctly.”

Emil said, “I’m glad.  I really want to go home.  Maybe something there will trigger my memories.”

Michele said, “I hope so.  I really hope so. We should probably have an early night so you can get some rest.  Do you want to go down to the restaurant to eat or do you want to order room service?”

Emil said, “Room service, please.”

Michele said, “Okay.  I’ll order us some food, and after we eat we will figure out what we will do about the sleeping arrangements.” 

Emil, confused, asked, “Sleeping arrangements?”

Michele gestured to the bed and said, “We only have one bed.  I didn’t know if you would be comfortable sleeping with me. I just kept the same room we had before. . . I didn’t think to change it.”

Emil said, “That’s okay.  I think I can handle at least one night.”

Michele asked, “Are you sure?  I could go get another room, or ask for a cot or something.”

Emil sighed and said, “Michele.  It will be alright.” 

_ I can feel our bond.  He is so anxious and sad. I hate this.  How do we fix this?  _

After dinner, they got ready for bed.  Michele got dressed in a shirt and boxers.

He blushed as he said, “uh, I don’t exactly have pajamas.”

Emil said, “Just wear what you normally would, okay? 

_ I feel like I need to touch him.  Must be the bond. I wonder if I could hug him without him freaking out more.  _

Emil asked, “Can I. . . hug you? It’s just I feel. . .”

Michele finished, “Like you need to touch me? It’s the bond.  Of course, you can hug me.”

Emil walked over to Michele and hugged him.  Michele sighed into his embrace. Emil could feel some of the tension dissipate from Michele’s body. He was surprised to feel a wetness on his shirt. 

_ Is he crying? What do I do? He has been so strong until now. _

Michele sobbed into Emil’s shirt. 

He hiccuped, “How can I miss you when you are right here?”

Emil said, “I’m sorry. So sorry.  I wish I could remember. I wish I wasn’t hurting you this way.”

Michele said, “It’s not your fault.  I’m just glad you are okay. I was so worried when you hit the ice and didn’t get up. I thought I lost you there for a minute.”

Michele let go of Emil and backed up. 

He said, “It’s just going to take some time but we can get through this.” 

Emil could feel how much Michele loved him through the bond. 

_ He is my soulmate. We can rebuild this. He will help me.  We just have to be patient, right? And maybe, maybe I will get my memories, my life back.  _

Michele said, “It’s been a long day.  Let’s go to bed? I booked an early train.”

Emil nodded and crawled into the bed.  Michele got into the bed on the other side. 

Michele thought  _ this is so weird.   _

It took a long time, but finally Michele fell asleep. 

***

Emil was dreaming.  He saw himself walking with Sara and Michele coming back from somewhere.  He saw himself give Sara his jacket. He watched as the Crispinos went into their room and watched himself walk away from the room only to turn around and return, presumably for the jacket.  And he saw it. The moment he bonded with Michele. 

Emil gasped as he woke up. 

_ That wasn’t a dream.  That was a memory. Well, at least I remember that.   _

Emil felt down the bond.  It was still open and filled with confusion from his side and love and frustration from Michele’s.

_ At least he hasn’t shut down the bond. That would be terrible.  _

Emil fell back to sleep with a smile, having recovered an important piece of his life. 


	3. Going Home

When Michele woke up the next morning he immediately noticed that he was cuddled up to Emil. Instead of moving immediately away he pretended sleep so he could enjoy the contact of his husband for just a little bit longer. 

_ I’ve missed him. I will never take his clingy touches for granted ever again.  _

When Emil began to stir, Michele moved away.  He got up off the bed and began getting ready for the day.  

Emil said, “I remember our bonding.”

Michele’s head swiveled around as he said, “What?”

Emil said, “I dreamed about our bonding last night.  I am hoping it’s the real memory so at least I will have that. Did it happen because I lent my jacket to Sara?”

Michele, with tears in his eyes, nodded. 

Emil said shaikly, “Well, at least I have that, then.  What were we doing before?”

Michele said, “We had been at a club.  You and Sara love to go out to the clubs after a competition and dance.” 

Emil nodded and said, “I’m glad I remembered that at least.” 

Michele said, “Me too.”

They looked at each other for a long quiet moment.  

Michele broke the silence by saying, “We need to get ready to go.  The train leaves soon.” 

Emil nodded and got out of the bed. Michele blushed as Emil’s shirt rode up on his torso when he scooted out of the bed. 

Emil chuckled and said, “It’s good that we are still into each other this much even though we’ve been together for years.”

Michele blushed harder and escaped into the bathroom.

Emil thought _ I get the feeling I am the one that initiates most of the contact. I can touch him.  He is my soulmate and husband so I can, can’t I? It felt so good to wake up to him holding me this morning.  _

Emil got dressed while Michele was in the bathroom. They finished getting ready for the day and packed the last few things in their bag and headed to the train station. After a long 3 hour train ride, they were finally back in Prague.  

Emil asked, “Why do we live here and not Italy?”

Michele said, “Cause your coach is nicer than ours was and Sara and I love your family.  So we both stayed in Prague until she bonded to Mila, the Russian skater, and moved to Russia.” 

Michele stopped in front of the door to his apartment.  He got out his keys and unlocked and opened the door. He walked into the apartment, toeing his shoes off by the door.   He took his suitcase to the bedroom. When he came back into the living room, he found a surprised Emil looking at the pictures on the wall, tears streaming down his face. He walked over to their wedding picture. 

Emil said softly, “We look so happy.”

Michele smiled at the memory and said, “It was a good day.  I planned the bonding ceremony in secret and surprised you with it. We had it at your parent’s house.  All of our friends and your family was there.”

Emil touched the glass of the frame. 

He turned his sad eyes to Michele and said, “Why can’t I remember?  I’ve lived this great life. One that I’ve only dreamed of and now I can’t remember it.  Why?”

Michele walked over to Emil and wiped away his tears. 

Michele said, “It’s okay.”

Emil, frustrated, said, “No, it’s not okay.  You are walking around me like I am some fragile thing. I can’t remember my husband or the medals I’ve won.  All the important things--I’ve lost them.” 

Michele said, “No.  You haven’t lost them.  Your medals and still hanging here with mine.”

Michele pointed to a display on the wall.

“And we can watch the recordings of your wins. I’m still here and I am not going anywhere.  I can tell you about any of these pictures and we can make new memories together. We will get past this.”

Emil dissolved into tears.  He reached out for Michele who gathered his sobbing husband in his arms.  Michele managed to moved them to the couch where Emil continued to break down. Michele just kept running his hands soothingly in Emil’s hair and murmured soft comforting words into his ear.  Emil cried himself out and passed out in Michele’s lap. Michele smiled and got comfortable on the couch, determined to let his soulmate rest as long as he needed in the comfort of his arms.   


*******

A week later. . .

 

Michele was sipping his morning coffee when Emil walked into the kitchen.  

_ I always have gotten up earlier than him.  Good to see that some things are still the same.   _

Emil said, “You and your early mornings and your damn black imported Italian coffee.”

Emil heard a crash and looked over to see that Michele had dropped his coffee cup and it shattered on the floor.

_ He remembered my coffee _

Moments later, Michele was on the ground frantically picking up the bits of the coffee cup amongst the hot fluid. 

Emil said, “What are you. . . what happened?”

Michele said, “I. . .I dropped it, and it’s broken.  You gave me that cup for my birthday and now its shattered.”

_ Like us.  _

Emil said, “It’s okay.  We can get another one. It will be alright.”

Michele, tears streaming down his face,  said, “It’s not alright. Everything is so hard and wrong and what if we never get us back?”

Emil stepped back.

_ This is totally not about the coffee cup.  He’s been so good and patient. If I didn’t know it before I would know it now that this man is truly my soulmate.  _

Emil reached out his hand to Michele.  It was the first interaction that Emil had initiated since the accident. 

Michele said, “What about the mess?”

Emil said, “Leave it.  We’ll clean it up later.  Right now we need to take care of you.”

Michele left the fragments of the coffee cup on the floor. He wiped his hands on a nearby towel and took Emil’s offered hand.  Emil lead him into the living room, but this time he held Michele while he cried.  

When Michele had cried himself out, Emil asked, “How in the Hell did we do this the first time?”

Michele, sniffling, said, “We didn’t.  We were friends before we bonded so we went from friends to lovers almost instantly. We didn’t do any of the awkward dating stuff.”

Emil said, “Then maybe we should.  Go out. Get to know each other again. Build something new instead of trying to reclaim something we are not sure we’ll ever have back.”

Michele nodded and asked, “Would you like to go to dinner and a movie with me tomorrow night?”

Emil said, “I’d love to.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Be sure to check out all the other great fics and art for this event. And come by and hi say on [tumblr ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/auronevardell) and check out our Discord channel.


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